raejin99:

slbtumblng:

carnival-phantasm:

Every apex predator, looking at a capybara chilling: “…nah, I can’t eat this dude, that would be fucked up”

(via marincap)

lovelytonys:

I would say “I’d die for Tony Stark” but if I did that he would carry the guilt like a two ton weight so instead I’m deciding to live for Tony Stark. I think he’d like it better that way.

(via transfrankcastle)

giddy-goblin:

hobnobbum:

I will only accept a live-action Road to El Dorado movie if its directed by Taika Watiti bye

Do you have any idea how much chaotic gay energy a movie like that would have

(via ace-mccree)

real-retail-stories:

[PLEASE KEEP ANONYMOUS BC I DON’T WANT TO BE FIRED]

I’m a bra fitter in the UK. Won’t name the store, but it’s one that’s internationally popular so occasionally we get people from abroad coming in to bulk-buy English bras because they fit better and are cheaper.

A few months ago a German woman, who didn’t speak any English, came in for a fitting with her two daughters to translate for her. What she didn’t know was that I speak near-fluent German because I used to work in Bochum as a primary school teacher.

I fitted her for an hour (she wanted a LOT) and she slagged me off the whole time - “she doesn’t know what she’s doing / she’s so young– have they given me an intern? I want a professional / I won’t take fashion advice from a girl that heavy / she’s not using european sizing, is she stupid” - and her daughters translated VERY favourably, both of them clearly quite uncomfortable with the situation.

I put on a brave face for the whole thing, pretending not to notice, and then as I was putting in her customer info (we keep a record of all our customers) one of the daughters complimented me for pronouncing their surname correctly.

I said thanks, and casually dropped into conversation - in perfect German - that I used to live in Germany and spoke the language.

Watching all the colour drain from that woman’s face as she realised what just happened, and seeing her two daughters quietly lose their collective shit behind her, was pretty glorious. Almost made it worth it.

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

brockpaperscizor:

i dont trust people who have a cup by their sink for when they brush their teeth. yall too good to drink out of your hands? too good to live like our ancestors? imperial scum

(Source: watchforrollingrocksptfiveapress, via starboys)

incorrect-hp:

Remus, after trying alcohol: I thought this stuff was supposed to make you feel better.

Sirius: No, it’s supposed to make you feel nothing.

aughtpunk:

ludwigplayingthetrombone:

i dropped off my resume at this place at 1:15 and got called for an interview at 1:45 holy dang

Today I got interviewed, hired, and then given a dollar raise and a better store location because the interviewer “liked my attitude”

REBLOG FOR GOOD JOB GETTING KARMA COME ON GRAB A PIECE

(via isacknewton)

mjalti:

when ppl think being a multifaceted human being who shows different sides of themselves depending on how comfortable they are in different situations makes you …”fake” …

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

i-am-the-punk-mermaid:

violent-darts:

llleighsmith:

anyone else feel like their spirit is ancient and they’ve been carrying the weight of its heartbreak for an eternity

My dad’s literal first words on holding me for the first time were “ …she’s done this before, and she’s not happy to be back.”

That is such a badass thing to say about a newborn

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

julianbashir:

julianbashir:

wheres that venn diagram chart of muppet names

here it is

(via thehobbutts)

tostadasheep:

a-boros-named-seamus:

dragoon811:

Yesterday I went to buy some yarn and so you know how annoying it is when fucking people put those stupid bullshit “don’t use this, wool is murder” PETA stickers on the label?

First of all, stop defacing stock in someone’s store. You’re not clever or saving the planet or anything. You’re making it hard for customers to shop and see the info they need on the label (yardage, weight, dye lot)… You’re making employees spend hours peeling the damn things off, and in some cases, you’re causing damage to the label and or yarn itself. That means loss to the company, which affects employees who probably make minimum wage, you shit bags. You want to make change happen? Contact corporate, you fuckhead. That’s where decisions are made.

Second of all, wool is not murder. Are you fucking stupid? (Obviously the answer is yes). It’s a fucking haircut for a sheep. They’ve been domesticated so long that if we don’t sheer them, it’s bad. Yes, some sheep don’t live in ideal conditions. Got a problem with that? Going to a yarn store and putting stickers on things isn’t going to change it or the minds of customers. For fuck’s sake, you absolute cockwomble, go to the yarn companies. Make them use wool providers that use humane conditions for their yarn, like A LOT OF YARN COMPANIES DO.

And third of all.

You. You precious, empty-headed little shitnugget. You complete and total sawdust-for-brains.

You put your fucking stickers all over acrylic yarn.

There’s no fucking wool in there. It’s all synthetic fiber. Basically, it’s plastic.

You fucking dumbass.

I connect with this post on a spiritual level

Did I ghost write this?

(via salios)